While visiting family over the summer my 16 year old came to me and ask me one of the toughest secrets to keep from the family. She told me that she wanted to go on birth control and that neither of her parents would support it and that she needed a ride to the clinic. Now I was extremely close with her mom and knew by keeping this secret and helping her it would end all friendships. So aganist my better judgement I help my little cousin and keep the secret.
During the time the secret remained a secret my little cousin had all of the power in the relationship. I felt awful for keeping this secret. I felt helpless and keep waiting for the blow up over the whole situation. and needless to say that when it did come out it ended in a disaster and that this was just one secret that shouldnt have been kept from the start.
Very interesting that you felt powerless in the relationship. Another student felt empowered, but the circumstances were different. Sharing a secret can make us complicit, legally and morally. it can lead us to being more proactive, i.e., driving someone to get something instead of just knowing the secret. It's also the problem of lying to keep the secret. It's an ongoning process. It's not just one lie and that's the end. The lie becomes a part of a lived experience. In extreme cases, like esbionage agents, it can become an entire, double life.
ReplyDeleteThe question that comes to mind is rather obvious, but intruiging: knowing all you know now, would you do it asgain?
George
i never got the chance to say this but,
ReplyDeleteI do beleive that I would have done the same as you and I do respect, both your blog and what you did that day. I do not think that many parents get it through their sculls that supression tends to always makes things worse while acceptance and helping get her birth control prevents her from having an unwanted pregnancy and even helps in other areas as well. Then again not all birth control pills may be "safe". Dont get me wrong, I do understand the parents as well, I do,but parents tend to forget certain truths of life. Thats my take anyways. Thanx for sharing that, and in class too.
Angelous